You have everything to give you a comfortable happy normal life. A loving husband, an adorable child, a nice and warm extended family. A house to live in (although rented), three meals a day (with the possibility of more), nice clothes to wear, a car to drive in. You have everything what any human needs to have. But still you feel this 'shoonya'(zero) inside you sometimes that none of these things or people are able to fill.
What is it that we look for beyond all this? Or is it only us who create this 'shoonya' looking for something beyond all this? Will this 'shoonya' really exist if we are truly happy with what we have?
When I am going through this 'shoonya' phase I like to be all alone. Just ALONE. No child, no husband, no music, and basically just nothing around. A while ago I was feeling this 'shoonyata' inside me. Hubby was busy watching TV and Betu was sleeping. So I just decided to take a stroll outside.
It was 8 PM. The initial signs of the onset of winter have started to show already. And that too quite suddenly. There was this slight mist in the air along with the touch of coldness. I liked it. And as I was walking I was wondering about this 'shoonya' which I believe everyones feels once in a while. I wondered if 'shoonyata' is same as 'tanhayee'. Probably not. 'I felt Tanhayee' is related to people around you. 'Shoonyata' is not. 'Shoonyata' goes beyond people.
Somehow I think I cannot decipher this 'shoonyata' ever and find the means to overcome it. Anyone to do that, needs to rise beyond the life of a normal human being.
P.S. I don't know if I'm making any sense here but I just poured out whatever was going in my mind right now.
I can very well understand what you mean to say. It does feel like that sometimes and as for me, I get this feeling a lot of times. Even I am not able to find out why I feel that way ..sometimes I conclude , staying away in a far off place where we can't relate to anything creates this feeling...I will come to know once I move back to India and find out if I still get this feeling.
ReplyDeleteBtw..that was a very nice post :)
Even I feel the same quite a few times :)
ReplyDeleteShoonya. Never has a word that actually means "nothing" meant so much. I go through it all the time. Very succinctly, and heart tuggingly put.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about Shoonya but I have somehow felt being in a 'Zone' several times... which may/maynot be like the Shoonya...
ReplyDeleteTo me, Zone was always an extended period of time when i was concentrating on Myself... evaluating where I was, how I got there, and where I had planned to go...
My being in the Zone never gave me the solution. It only gave me a progress report. It is possible that my Zone was infact the next step that followed my Shoonya. Afterall, there has to be a trigger! For feeling anything really...
What do you think...
Methodactor; Yes 'shoonya' is probably the voidest void that anyone can ever feel/imagine.
ReplyDeleteManasi: I agree - there has to be a trigger. Don't know if your feeling of being in the 'Zone' and mine of 'shoonya' are really the same thing. Because when I'm in that mode I not only think about myself but of everything around me whether it affects me directly or not. Of things, of people, of surroundings..everything.
I don't think there is anyone who doesn't feel this. It is the need to be with oneself... listen to the inner voice... experience the inner need. It's a luxury we indulge in sometimes. Before heading back to reality, to togetherness and happiness.
ReplyDelete