Funny Quotes!

Some funny quotes that I received in my jokes subscription and I thought it would be a good idea to share it with all. So enjoy!!

"My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary." -Drake Sather

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." -Steven Wright

"Some folks are wise and some are otherwise." --Tobias George Smolett

"According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of women tell their friends secrets to their husbands. So women, if you tell your girlfriend something, 83 percent chance she will tell her husband. But the good news? One hundred percent of the men aren't listening anyway." -Jay Leno

"Russia is claiming that it owns the North Pole. President Bush is furious and said, 'That's ridiculous - everyone knows the North Pole is owned by Santa.'" -Conan O'Brien