Sunday, June 7, 2009

Feeling totally blank...

Am sitting at the airport waiting for the boarding announcement for my flight to Delhi. And I feel this complete void in myself. It didn't feel nice at all leaving Betu here. He was getting upset too. He didn't want me to leave without him. He asked me to either stay on or take him along. It broke my heart. All his excitement of spending some days of his summer holiday with his Dadi-Dadu and his cousins who would be arriving on Tuesday seemed immaterial. I would have probably taken him back with me if I didn't knew this was just parting anxiety.

So after clinging to me and little pacifying, although upset, he agreed to me going. But he still didn't come out to wave me bye :(

On my way to the airport he called me saying he will stay for just two days. That is making it a bit difficult for me right now. I'm feeling this bit of "khalipan" inside me. All my excitement of some me time has vanished into thin air. It feels like I'm leaving a part of me behind. It doesn't feel nice at all...not even one bit...

Looking at all the airplanes standing, I can almost feel his excitement on seeing them upclose. He would have been glued to the glass walls overlooking the bay. The moment we would have stepped in the plane he would have demanded to eat something :)

Anyways. Betu I know you will miss me a little bit but I alo know you will have fun. This is the start of spending summer holidays with grandparents just like we used to do.

But whatever said and done, I'm feeling this void inside me.

P.S. He just called me again and

Betu: Aap plane mein baith gaye?
Me: Haan Betu.

Betu: Aap kya kar rahe ho? Aapko khane ke liye mil gaya?
Me: Nahi. Abhi nahi. Thodi der mein milega.

Betu: ok. Bye.

~~ Keep Smiling! ~~
Sent on my BlackBerry®.


  1. :). aww. He's going to start enjoying and refuse to return from his grandparents' place. You, on the other hand, take care:)

  2. awww, that was soo sweet. Don't feel bad abt leavin him back. He'll enjoy more at his gp's place and wait for the nxt holidays. :)

    Cheer up. :)

  3. ohh.. where have u left him? For how long? i personally think its a great idea for them to spend the summers without parents at another place.. :-) they'll enjoy it by and by...

  4. A part of growing process till the time the role reverses :)

  5. He would have a wonderful time with Grand parents/cousins :)

  6. "I am loving it"

    he'll be saying that to you soon mommy.don't you worry

  7. Oh oh! I am sure he is going to have a great time, with his grandparents and was just parting anxiety as you said. Go have fun a movie or read some books!

  8. Aww....dekh lena, he will have a really really good time & will already start planning his next vacation when he returns.

    And that void is a good thing. Makes us realise the value of the hugs & kisses even more when they return.

  9. After a few years, he will be dying to go on his own vacations :-)
    but i miss spending summers at my grandparents too :-(

  10. thats so sweet,
    yes I can feel that tug that you feel when you leave kids somewhere.
    R just did that to me, although she is only 60 kms away and she went there by her own accord.

  11. Aww thats hard. So, Betu spends part of the summer vacations in Mumbai? I'm a bit confused in terms of who is where...sorry!

  12. and is he having fun already?! :)

  13. Aww. Coming here after ages ~nm. So, did he have fun? Are you guys back together yet?

  14. Wow such a nice talk between you n ur kid.

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