Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Whatever part of the country I'm, I'm connected to the Internet. Who needs to carry a heavy laptop just for the net connection now! :D It reminds me of the time when we were travelling to UP in mid of May for a cousins' wedding, I was almost giving hour to hour updates to my SIL/BIL/MIL via chat. :D They were quite excited about the wedding but due to some constraints weren't able to make it for the wedding.
And it turned out so much cheaper too since there's no extra charge on Internet connectivity on roaming but a lot if you SMS or call. So worked out great for all of us. :D
And when I don't want to use the Internet, I've my default game that comes with it 'Brickbreaker' to the rescue. Its an age old game but I really love it. Have been playing for almost a year now and am still not bored of it. Now DH is also addicted to that game.
So to summarise.. I LOVE MY BLACKBERRY! And THANK YOU Jijaji!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I think I can also call myself an Internet addict. I have a feeling of incompleteness, some void when I am not able to spend any time on the Internet. I'm sure it could be called a false feeling but I get a feeling of being 'connected' when I have ready access to the Internet. If there's no Internet connection I feel as if one lifeline is dead.
Even if it means just getting online for 5 minutes to check my email. Be it at work or at home. There HAS to be Internet connectivity available! And I feel the article aptly said, "Internet addiction is not manifesting itself as an 'urge.' It's more than that. It's a deep 'craving."
But I never paid so much though to my behaviour until I read this article and it make me wonder if I should do something about it.
Any of you have any thoughts on this?
"My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary." -Drake Sather
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." -Steven Wright
"Some folks are wise and some are otherwise." --Tobias George Smolett
"According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of women tell their friends secrets to their husbands. So women, if you tell your girlfriend something, 83 percent chance she will tell her husband. But the good news? One hundred percent of the men aren't listening anyway." -Jay Leno
"Russia is claiming that it owns the North Pole. President Bush is furious and said, 'That's ridiculous - everyone knows the North Pole is owned by Santa.'" -Conan O'Brien
Monday, August 20, 2007
Makes me think that I should start saying "Bless you!" to her so that she doesn't feel the lack of the blessings when she sneezes to say it to herself! :P
But seriously..I think this is just too much!
Few of my close colleagues used to really make fun of me because of this reminder. And once when I went away from my PC they (Manish Sinha & Anshul Sharma) changed the message but obviously unknown to me. Those days we used to use Windows 98 which didn't have a password system lock option.
So when I came back and was really engrossed in something and suddenly the reminder pops up saying "Drink Beer!" Since my mind was totally lost into the work I had to read it 5 times to understand what it was saying and that I was not hallucinating and also to realise what had conspired behind my back. And I didn't have to think hard at all to figure out who must have done it. So when I looked at them, they were giggling sitting at their workstations!
That time I didn't find it funny at all but later I had such a good laugh thinking of the incident. :)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
It is such a nice feeling to see them enjoying something as basic as 'matar paneer' and going 'wow' over it. I said basic because that's how we feel about it. But not them. For them its something really special. Seeing them relishing the matar paneer, boondi raita, bhindi and roti gave us such a satisfaction. Whenever we would serve them something, most of them would without fail would say 'Thank you" so sweetly and sometimes in a sing-song tone. And that's when I felt, its worth it! Worth everything.
Since the lunch room is not large enough to feed all the members/children in one go, there are 2 shifts. In the second shift, as I was serving a boy of about 12-14 yrs, I saw that he suddenly smiled and said "Kya hua chhotu?" I wondered who he was talking to and looked around. I saw a little boy of about 5-6 yrs of age walking in the lunch room. He followed the voice of the elder boy and reached him. I think the little boy sensed me standing close to him and in a low tone said something to the older one. The elder one grinned from ear to ear and stood up and hunched towards the little boy and told him to speak in his ear. The little boy said something and the elder one replied "Aata hoon!" and then the little one shyly went away. And then I happened to glance at Appa who was also looking at these boys talking and was smiling. Appa and me just looked at each other and smiled. And thats when I felt that these children are no different than us!
This was the first time I took Anirudh to this place. I had told him that we will go and give party to some children because of Nani's birthday. But I guess I should have told him more about these children because he was getting a bit uncomfortable seeing them behaving a bit differently. I did try and tell him that they cannot see because they got hurt in the eyes. He nodded as if he understood but I do not really know how much he did!
Its been more than 7 years since you have been gone but it seems like ages. And sometimes it seems just like yesterday. So many times I think about if we could have done anything differently for you to be here today with us. Just anything....
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Anirudh was so excited just holding on to the kites when we bought them.
We were visiting my papa and we went up on the 2nd floor terrace to fly the kites. DH first started with the tirangi patang (Tri-color kite) but he didn't use the manjha so soon his kite got cut! we were avoiding manjha just so that Anirudh doesn't cut his fingers. Here's the pic of the first kite that we flew. Its not very clear but a good memory.
But when the kite got cut, DH and Appa got excited and tied the manjha to our spool. Appa got out the band-aids to put on DH's fingers so that the manjha doesn't cut through his fingers. I don't know what the English word for 'manjha' but its basically a strong thread which is coated with some resin which has glass powder in it. So this resin helps in cutting other peoples kite's thread. This is used for kite fighting or competitions.
Very soon we all were shouting "Woh kaata" after every kite that DH would cut :D DH managed to cut 5 kites and lose 1 one. When DH cut the first kite, I saw that Betu got a bit concerned and asked "Uski kite kat gayee?" to which we answered "Yes". With a frown on his face he looked at us questioningly as if saying "Why did you cut the other person's kite?" as if it was a bad thing to do. But I just smiled at him and I guess he understood it on his own that it's a game without us explaining anything to him.
Anirudh was so so very happy flying his kite! And how did he fly his? We tied his tirangi(tri-color) kite with a simple thread and he hung it down from the 2nd floor terrace and it just moved around with the wind. And he was so happy seeing it fluttering and bobbing up and down. In the beginning he was a bit frustrated that why is it not flying up in the sky like his Papa's kite is. So we had to console him that the kite that Papa is flying is also his :D
Here's is one pic of Betu holding on to the thread of the kite which was flying high and his Nanu (my papa) is holding on to the spool! But he didn't like the thread rubbing on his fingers so soon he just gave it to us and went back to his kite :D
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The whole atmosphere had a happy feeling to it. Everyone was smiling and enjoying looking at others dressed as per the theme. So it felt nice to have such things taking place in the day to day monotonous office life.
Somehow when, the office boy came around offering mithai in tri-color I was reminded of our school days when we would so anxiously await for the box of laddoos that was distributed in the school during the assembly. There would be always 4 laddoos in that box and how I used to just eat little bit save them to take home. To me it seemed no less than a prize received. So it was guarded like a prized possession to ensure no other classmate steal away any bits of it.
And I wondered if Anirudh would also get a box of laddoos in his school where they are celebrating Independence Day too? He went dressed in white crisp new Kurta Pyajama which I bought for him this Sunday. I was wanting to buy a orange or a bandhani one with orange, green combo but couldn't find any so had to go with the plain white one. I did try to wrap around my yellow dupatta but he just didn't want it so I let him be just like that.
As I'm writing this I am excited thinking about how he would have celebrated the day at school, what all would he have done...which of course I will get to know partially when I go to pick him up in the evening. Partially because he just talks about the things which enthused him..but naturally..right? :D
Friday, August 10, 2007
I feel I've understood you Ma in true sense only after becoming a mother myself. There are so many things that we overlooked or took for granted earlier whose importance I realise now.
Ma, how did you learn to be so patient with us? I seem to be a total failure when I look back as I just cannot remember you shouting even 1/10th of the times that I shout at Anirudh. He's just one kid and you had four!
Ma, from where did you get the patience of teaching us our subjects whereas I get really irritated and angry when after telling Anirudh twice what 'S' looks like he still cannot recognise it among the group of alphabets in front of him?
Ma, how did you tend to us when we were sick and still went on with the rest of the house chores without a frown on your face? Here its just Anirudh and I feel so drained out in just half a day when he's not well and the house looks like a tornado hit it.
Ma, where did you get the energy to teach us after taking care of the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, even stitching clothes for us? After few hours at work when I come back home, I've no energy to play with Anirudh and if I do, literally have to force myself physically. And after a while I just let him sit in front of TV to watch cartoons.
This space is too less to write about the various other things that I feel so awed about you, what you did and how you did when I look back and realise that I cannot do even minuscule proportion of them myself.
However good or bad we have been, you loved us to no end and were proud of us no matter what. I remember your ever smiling face except for occasional times and days when you would not be happy or be angry about something but only momentarily - at least you never let it show for too long. Your long silky hair which I feel so glad to have inherited from you. I remember how much I loved combing them because they felt so nice and soft. When I look at your pictures now and then I feel how you looked so beautiful naturally and never had to use any makeup like we have to.
We had our share of fights as Mother and a difficult daughter too but on the whole it was a can't-live-without relationship :D
I'm sorry for all the times I've troubled you Ma, for the worries I've caused.
I still remember your face expressions when you saw me climbed atop the 30-35 foot high water tank behind our house in Iraq when I was just about 8 yrs of age and how you were so scared when I was climbing down after getting a big big scolding from you for playing so dangerously. Its only now I can imagine how horrified you must have been because I get jitters when I think of me in your position and Anirudh atop that tank. I still went on to do such pranks but I tried best that you don't come to know about them. And I worry when I think of Anirudh doing the same to me. I worry so much for his safety just like you did for us.
I remember the various yummy dishes that you used to try out in various cuisines. Your sizzlers, your mysore pak, your yummy sabudana pakoras, the yummy mughlai palak which I also make and everyone loves and I so proudly tell them that Ma taught me this recipe. And ohh how can I forget the chunk chops mixed vegetable that I learnt from you. Every time I make and whosoever has eaten it till date just can't stop raving about it. I again proudly tell them that Ma invented this dish! And every time..yes EVERY TIME I eat samosa's I think of you coz I know how you loved them :D
I remember how lovingly you made the special mango pickle for all of us just a month before you left us... though only physically. It amazes me how you got all that energy when your body was so drained out with the fight against the illness.
I had always admired your determination and I will also try to be as determined as you were Ma. I saw your determination to get well and get over with the illness. I was so shocked learning about it and instead of me trying to give you strength it was the other way round. Seeing you totally unnerved by it and going around just like you used to earlier gave me the courage to face it and the hope to fight it back.
I can never forget the birthday just few days after your surgery, when we communicated with just using our eyes and smiles..words would have failed to convey what your eyes and smile did. You were still in the ICU with IVs running though your hands and so many machines around you monitoring how you are progressing after the surgery. I clearly remember your smiling face with a questioning nod as if asking me if its my birthday and when I nodded in affirmation, you lifted your hand to pat mine - wishing me 'Happy Birthday!'. It has been the best birthday wish for me so far...where words were not required and we understood each other completely.
Every single day I hope that a time will come when you will come back and be with us again!
I still remember those special Rs 10 that you used to give us whenever we would go out to spend on things we wanted. Even when we grew up and went to college we always looked forward to that special Rs 10 despite the fact that you had given us enough for our expenses. :D After all those were THE SPECIAL Rs. 10 for us...very special.
Whenever I wear the Sarees that you used to wear, I can so clearly see you wearing them. And I get a certain kind of happiness as it feels that you are so much close to me then.
But then you have always been close to us even though not physically but in our thoughts, in our memories in everything. You will always be there. I know you know it but still I want to say it "We love you Ma".
Thursday, August 9, 2007
I will ignore the part that instead of snacking on those mini snack pizzas we actually gorged on them and made them our full fledged dinner. *wink*
I had got these mini pizza bases on Saturday evening and had actually planned on making them on Sunday evening but last minute plan changes and we went to meet someone for dinner that day. I had bought them with such enthu that I didn't want them to rot away. I was sure that they wouldn't last till next weekend so decided to make them today.
I made it in batches of two. Here's the pic of the first batch which Betu and DH polished off all leaving me 1 out of the 8 that I had baked.
So how did we like them? DH and Betu simply lovvved them. After having quite a few Betu wanted more and had to be told NO just so that he doesn't over do. It feels so good to have the food appreciated which you have cooked after coming from work all tired to plonk off on the bed. Doesn't it?
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
To some extent I agree with him. For e.g when Anirudh was moving around a lot and not sitting at the place I was telling him to while feeding him his dinner, I got really angry and shouted at him. But I didn't realise how angry I had gotten till DH told me so and asked me not to shout on Anirudh so much.
But why have I become like this? It seems quite contrary to the current situation when work is light and I come back home early. I should be happier and thus not getting angry so much. I did think a lot about it yesterday night but somehow could not really pinpoint what it was. Maybe its not just one thing but a mix of many.
One thing which I did realise has gone wrong with me is if I have become a bit finicky about things and where and how they should be placed. If hand towel is not where it should be, I get angry. If the slippers are not where they should be, I get angry. If I find the bathroom all strewn up, I get angry. If Anirudh doesn't listen to me, I get angry. If washing machine gives trouble, I get angry. If things don't go the way I plan them to be, I get angry....
I can go on and on and list down hundreds of other things but that's not what I'm trying to do. I want to know the reason behind my behaviour and how can I correct it.
I've a caring husband and the most adorable child I could have ever asked for. We both have decent jobs, not so hectic work environments, quite an easy lifestyle since we are living as a nuclear family then what is it that irritates me and makes me start boiling up so much and so often?
Is it a phase? Will this go away? On its own? Have any of you felt the same as I do? Were you able to resolve it? If yes, how? I still have to find answers to my behaviour. I really want to. Hopefully soon.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Its only when two people..close people..asked me on the SAME DAY "Do you write?" that got my rusting brain started to think about starting one of my own. I was quite amused as how can two different people in two different parts of the world can ask the same question on the very same day. But being the lazy me, I still tried to ignore the sudden inner urge to start my blog thinking its again one of those whims and I will never be able to write often and it will just rust away as my diaries did - the ones I wrote in college days.
But I don't know why and how, I was at work and suddenly I just opened the notepad on my PC and started typing away. And there has been no stopping since then. It has become a kind of an addiction. If not writing, I HAVE to read some. It feels a little incomplete inside when I haven't had a chance to write or read any blogs in the entire day. And those have been very very rare days :D
It gives me a certain kind of kick to my daily routine life. My blog and my son's blog which I started soon after starting mine are my means to ooze out the thought waves gushing in my mind and it gives me a some kind of happiness and satisfaction. It relieves my stressful mind in its own way. I never tried to think too much about 'Why' and 'How' it relieves me. Maybe one day I will try to get into that self introspection too. Knowing me I sure will.
Through this blog I have had the chance to walk down the memory lane reminiscing some good and some not so good moments that had been buried deep down. I had so much fun writing about my great grandparents as I almost relived those moments with them. This is just one example. There have been other moments too but I don't want to go on and on with links after links :D
And its not just the fact that I feel good about posting, its really good to see people commenting on your blogs too. I feel happy to read what other bloggers have to say about what I write. Their opinions, their thoughts make my horizons grow larger. Many a times they help me think beyond. I feel its good to have some friends who don't know you except through your blog. I really like the chain of other blogger friends that I've made.
Some may say instead of gloating over you virtual friends you should go out and make some real friends. But I guess I like the ease that's there in this virtual world. No commitments and still they are your friends. No one is judging you over how well or how bad you write. You just write and the world reads. They rejoice in your happiness and they feel sad in your not so happy moments. The rejoicing or sadness may not last more than a minute but for me its more than enough to feel and create a kind of a bond.
I'm happy I started my blogs. Really Happy!
Monday, August 6, 2007
My wife is still mad at me over a teensy misunderstanding that occurred when our baby was born. She called me at work and said her water had broken.
And I said, "So, call the plumber."
Friday, August 3, 2007
Even more interesting was that have named all their children with the alphabet J.
I just shudder thinking about my not so easy pregnancy when nausea and throwing up worked overtime beyond the usual 3 months and extended till the end of 7th month. And the delivery? How can I ever forget it? With the OBG trying out 2 different sizes of vacuum and then finally using forceps to pull out Anirudh. And that was not it, they took full one hour to stitch me up. I had cried up so much that all my tears were dried up by that time.
Ohh boy! 17th child??? I don't even know if I should say "Hats off" or treat this as a kind of an effort to try and break or make some world record? How can anyone do justice to each child by giving them enough attention and time which each child needs? How? How? How?
I guess I should stop thinking about it before I lose my mind.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I'm sure each of us have a fetish for something. Something which others wouldn't know. Something amusing or weird or funny. So as the title says I've a fetish for footwear. Whenever we are out in the market, I just cannot resist looking in at the footwear shops. And so many times I end up buying too even when I really really do not require any more pairs.
How many pairs do I currently own? I have no clue. But they are way too many that I know. Its a count that would put anyone to shame.
So when we were rummaging through the footwear cupboard during the cleaning up session after the whitewash, DH got to see the number of pairs that I have. He was flabbergasted. He asked me if I am trying to beat the record of Imelda Marcos in having the maximum number of pair of footwear :P
If I start to count the ones I remember, I have about 3 fancy marriage wear kinds, 3 sandals styles with varying heel sizes, one jooti, one fancy chappal styled, one regular slip-ons, one pair of sport shoes, another pair of slip on cloth shoes besides the house slip on chappals. These are the ones that I remember straight off. Its quite a possibility that I might have a pair or two more and don't remember.:P
And its not that I just buy them and don't wear them. There are a few pairs that I use very very regularly and there are few which are used occasionally.
So now its your turn Swati, MyNanhiPari and Fuzzy to tell me what your one weird/funny/amusing fetish is? Be a sport and out with it! :D