Saturday, April 26, 2008

Whats for lunch today?

Before hubby left for work today I asked him what he wants for lunch. He said some yummy paav bhaaji would be great. I said super and waved him goodbye. For me deciding what to cook for lunch or dinner is such a task so if someone tells me what they want to eat, it makes my life so much easier.

Around 12 when I actually got to preparing for the paav bhaji, I realised I do not have any tomatoes. Waited for 30 mins for ani suzi waala to pass by the house but there was none in sight. And it was way too hot to step outside with Betu in tow just to buy tomatoes. So the plan for Paav Bhaji was canceled right there and then. But now the questions was what to make? Neither of us wanted to have the regular daal-roti-subzi. And then suddenly it struck me that I can make some pasta. I had all the veggies needed and ready made pasta sauce from Cremica in my fridge too.

And when I told Anirudh I'm making pasta, he would come every 2 minutes to ask me "Ho gaya? Ban gaya pasta?" (Is it done? Pasta is ready?) :D

So while the pasta was put to boil, I quickly diced the veggies, cooked them in little butter and then added the ready made sauce. Once the pasta was all cooked, I tossed it around in the veggies, grated some cheese and lo and behold! Some yummy pasta was ready to dig into!

Here is the pic that clicked of it beforeit was gobbled up by the three of us:

Usually Betu likes to have macaroni but this time I used the fusili from the Spigadora brand. So what did you guys eat for lunch today?

A poem...

I recently found this poem that I had written for Hubby our first valentines day. It was in the year 2000. We were engaged that time and it was still about a month to go for the wedding.

Its amazing what love does to you. I was a person who never believed in Valentines day and here I was writing this poem for him for Valentines Day. No valentine's day has been as precious as the first one. But then we have not celebrated Valentines day ever since as well. So here's how we celebrated our first Valentines Day. I went to his place after office. He was getting some plumbing work done and when those workers left I gave him this poem, which I had written for him on a special writing paper. Soon after we sat down next to each other and started to talk. Out of the blue he took out a beautiful card from inside his jacket and gave it to me! I was happily surprised. Then we continued to talk and soon after he took out a rose from his jacket leaving me shocked but again very happy. Next as we were snacking, out came another rose! I can't describe how happy I was feeling at that time.

After a while I thought one more rose will come and kept looking at him curiously. he probably guessed it and said "Bas aur nahi hain!" (Thats it. There are no more.) And we both had such a hearty laugh.

Coming back to the poem, when I read it now, it seems quite kiddish kinds. But what the heck..if I don't write it out here, the paper will get lost again. So here it is...

Sitting under the Sun,
Thinking about us.
Drifting away to the memories,

The times spent together by us.

How lovely are these days

Making me happy in all the ways.

In your room huddled together
Without any worries, without a bother.

Your silky hair, your innocent face,
The sweetest smile, with a naughty trace.

Your soft little touch, That I love so much.
The world never seemed so beautiful,

So happy so cheerful.

And I owe it all to you

Meaning of love I never knew.
Showed me what love meant.

"A word without an end."

Friday, April 25, 2008


Over the years I have come across various kind of drivers. Each has a particular characteristic of their own. Well, on the whole we can separate drivers into the software kinds and those as in the humans drivers who drive vehicles. I'm talking about the latter kinds. The us humans, who themselves have so many further species of drivers.

So lets start listing these variety of species that I have encountered:
  • There are the kinds who have their hand limply hanging out of the window. I wonder if the hand has become unconscious because of the lack of oxygen and because of that reason they hang it outside for it to breathe in some fresh air. I wonder...

  • Then there is another variation of the above variety. But then their hand is 'resting' on the window ledge. I guess they are trying to give their hand a break from all the driving. But then how do they give rest to the other hand? I wonder...

  • Another species is of the ones who sit slightly tilted with their backs towards the car door. Such variety is mostly found in taxi drivers. since they anyways do not care about other vehicles on the road, its better to have your back towards them. Right? :D

  • Then there is another specie which sits right at the edge of their seats with both hands on the steering. I have always wondered what must be going on in their mind to be sitting in such a position? It sometimes feels as if they are so scared to be driving and trying to somehow reach their destination unscathed :P

  • And recently I came across this very amazing specie of a driver who would alternate looking from the windshield to the rear view mirror every other second. So one second he would be looking in the front and the other second he would be looking at his rear view mirror. It almost looked like a clocks pendulum swaying from one end to the other :D
So these are the species that I have seen myself. I can further add the drivers as their driving style. Some are driving as if they are out for a leisurely stroll and some are driving as if they are in a race and they zig zag into the traffic like a mad man!

It reminds me of an incident where this guy was honking away at me to give him side to go ahead. I got pretty angry since there was so much traffic that I couldn't have given him any space at all. So when he was next to my window I shouted at him that you should drive a plane and not a car. He responded back saying "I'm a commercial pilot" thinking he will snub me off by that. Poor chap, he didn't know me well :D I told him that "I hope you know that right now you are driving a car and not a plane" and also told him then he should just stick to planes since he is surely bad at driving on the roads and then I zipped off leaving him totally zapped :D

I'm sure there must be other species also which I've not encountered. And I wonder if I should take that as a good thing?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Yet again...

..the diamond kitty has been dug into and emptied. Yet again!

Yet again it has been wiped off completely clean to buy those electronics that I just cannot desist. Did you notice the 's' at the end of electronic in the previous sentence? Yup, its not one but 2 things that has been bought. But yay!! I'm so happy and excited about it!! I just can't wait to hold it in my hands and just feel it. can stop those dirty thoughts right there!!

A cousin of mine is coming in early May from the U S of A and I asked him to carry this lovely camera as well as an excellent wireless router for me. Thanks a ton Pankaj!! I'm counting days to his arrival so eagerly that I can't just describe! Yeah I'm being a meanie sister and waiting more for my camera than for him. But at least I'm truthful about it so do give me those brownie points!

I was swaying between this Canon SX100 model and Canon SD1100IS model. They both looked pretty good to me. But each had few pluses and few minuses. SX100 was a bigger, heavier camera whereas the SD1100 was much smaller and compact. But then liked the 10x optical zoom in SX100 as compared to the 3x in SD1100. I liked the fact that there are manual controls in SX100 which I can play around but I liked the pre-loaded settings in SD1100. But in the end I gave away to this black beauty i.e SX100. Isn't it so sexy?

While he was at it, I asked him order a nice wireless router for me. Since he is pro at networking and et al, I left him to choose the model. And from what he says, its one awesome model. So no more tripping over netwrk cable, no more entangling of wires and I can just sit about anywhere and work on my lappy!

By the way, did I tell you I got a lappy in Jan this year? I did not?? How did I miss this big news?? Anyhow, its a Gateway model. Don't remember the model number but it has super duper specs. It came loaded with Vista. And I just love it. It was a gift from Hubby! So he kind of made up for all these years when he didn't get me anything for birthday or anniversary. Thanks chhona!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

An Inconvenient Truth

I'm sure lot of the people would have already seen this documentary by Al Gore on global warming "An Inconvenient Truth" and I was probably amongst those few people who hadn't seen it until yesterday when it was aired on HBO. And I would have probably missed it yesterday as well had it not been for Appa who told me about it to be aired on HBO at 9 PM

And what a documentary it was!! Just awesome! I was watching it totally speechless. The things it tells you is just so real, something we see everyday and do everyday and yet it hits you hard.

I was going "Oh my god!" all the time when he was telling and showing such shocking facts about the climate and what we humans are doing to it and how we are just playing with it..its nothing less than just ransacking your own house!! Its like destroying your own house by your own hands and being totally ignorant about it.

And I was wondering at the end, what should we do as an individual to help. I know there are couple of things that I can definitely do and will start doing them right away.

And those who have not watched it yet, you MUST watch it! And don't just forget about it, do something. Little little things. DON'T waste water, DON'T waste electricity, DON'T waste paper, DON'T waste polybags. Reuse them and best would be to minimize their usage. These little little things we can definitely take care of...right??

Friday, April 18, 2008

Little birdie pouch!

Aren't these little bird pouches so cute? With just one handle and one little pocket! Just perfect for carrying little knick knacks (some money, your phone etc.) on short outings! I think I wanna try and make one like this for sure!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

A new tag in the bag!

Maggie (aka Moppets Mom) tagged me on this general questionnaire tag. And since she thinks of me as the first person who would respond to the tag, let it be so :D

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Taare Zameen Par

What Book Are You Reading:
Panchtantra Kahaniyan (As I had said before, my reading is restricted to whatever I'm reading to betu these days.)

Favorite Board Game:
Ludo! :D

Favorite Magazine:
Reader's Digest.

Favorite Smells:
Rajnigandha flowers and the aroma of something being baked.

Favorite Sound:
Betu's voice when I hear it on the phone

Worst Feeling In The World:
The feeling of shoonya.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake?
I don't think..I just do it..check my blackberry for any emails :P

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Whatever place that serves good golgappas!

Future Child's Name:
Oh well..I'm not if there is going to be a future child. But if there will be- if a girl it would be Sneha and if a Boy ..not sure.

Finish This Statement. "If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...”
Buy a house!

Do You Drive Fast?

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?

Storms-Cool Or Scary?

What Was Your First Car?
It still is with me - Maruti 800

Favorite Drink:

Finish This Statement, "If I Had The Time I Would .....”
.. watch TV.
..and Money - Travel round the world.

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice?
Something purplish

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In.
Ghaziabad, New Delhi, Calcutta, Falluja (Iraq).

Favorite Sports To Watch:

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
She is a "Good at heart" person.

What's Under Your Bed?
A floor.

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?

Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Neither :P

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Sunny side up! But anyway is just OK as long its been cooked well :)

Favorite Place To Relax:
My bedroom

Favorite Pie:
Anything with doesn't have too strong flavour of nutmeg or cinnamon in it.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:

You pass this tag to -
JLT & Rayshama & Suki

Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?

Getting to be a pro at being absent minded!

Yeah really! I should get a crown for being the queen of such people if it exists! If such crown doesn't exist yet, I am sure they will create one soon in my honour!

So do you see this pic? And can you read what it says? I am sure you can and must be wondering why I have posted this picture. I will tell you why so that you all can laugh your butts off and but obviously I am the butt behind the joke!

This bag has been lying right on my desk for the past 2 hours and I didn't even realise what it had printed on it. Yeah yeah...laugh on! My cook has packed me my lunch box in this very bag and I have very happily not only carried it to work but also had it displayed as a prized possession to all and sundry! *rolling my eyes*

No more stashing away of such bags in the house now. They will be thrown straightaway in the bin the moment they enter the house! So that no more such bloopers happen ever again! Sigh...

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch

5 things that I do

I was passed on a tag by Shakti where she wants me to write down the first 5 thing that I do after I reach home. Be it from office, shopping, outing...just anything. I guess I do different things depending on from where I'm coming back from. For e.g the first thing I do after I come home after attending parties or weddings is to take off my heels! :D So I guess let me talk about my daily routine of 5 days in a week which I do after I come back from work.
  • Dump all the bags, my office bag, betu's school bag, his daycare bag and the bag of milk which we buy on our way home every evening on to the table in the living room. I prefer to take out everything in one go so that I don't have to make another round to the car irrespective of the fact that I park my car right in front of our house and we are on ground floor :D

  • I take out my lunch box from my office bag and put it in the kitchen sink to be washed.

  • Then I come and sit with Betu and cuddle him while we are sitting on the couch.

  • Then we both go and look for something to nibble on in the kitchen.

  • Then we both take off our shoes and just chillax!
When I got this tag I piece of cake it will be to do this one! But only while doing the tag I realised that all these things have become such a regular routine that I do it all unconsciously. I had to really think hard of the things that I do when I come back home.

So now to tag 3 people...hmm.... Stone, Swati & Suma. Come on, now tell me about your routine.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Rainbow in my car!

Wonderful! Isn't it? :D

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch

Horrifying story of polygamist sect!

This is the most horrifying story I have heard of in todays world. We keep hearing of harassment of women in India but this far exceeds any kind of harassment that I've ever come across. Its not just harassment...its pure cold blooded torture in my eyes!! And it still hasn't sunk in that this was for real! Read about it here.

I just cannot get myself to believe that such people still exist in todays world who are much worse than those cannibals. I am so filled with rage and shock. My head is spinning after reading the article and I just can't write anymore about it.

Am I expecting too much?

Yesterday evening I started to play the alphabet puzzle with Anirudh with the idea to teach him phonetics. But soon after I realised he doesn't know the sequence of the letters except in his ABCD song. I was kind of shocked. I had thought that he must have been taught this at his school in nursery but I'm so speechless.

He can recognise the letters but he just doesn't know which letter comes after what. He is 4 years young and I don't know what all he is supposed to know by this age.

When we didn't get into Pre0primary (earlier called as KG) after all the admissions chaos because firstly very few schools had opened up admissions for KG this year and those who did, were either too far away so we didn't rank up in the point system or secondly were the not so good schools that we preferred that he loose one year and do nursery again but in a good school. We had mulled a lot about him losing this one year but finally decided its for the better.

But yesterday I wondered its good that he didn't get into KG looking at his simple Alphabet knowledge.

I don't know for sure. I may be wrong and expecting too much but please do tell me what is the basic knowledge level expected out of a 4 year old with respect to simple alphabet learning skills.

And its not just the alphabet, its the numbers. He always fumbles up with his counting too. He always eats up 13 and 14. So if I ask him to recite the numbers after 10 he will go 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19 and after a bit of thought 20. He remembers to say 16 sometimes and sometimes that is also forgotten.

I guess I will have to work with him everyday on this just the way I did with the "Days in a week" practice. Its been a month since he remembers all the days in the correct sequence

But please do tell me what your 4 year olds know or rather what are they supposed to know by this age. Probably its my mistake for not practicing with him often. But I do need to know.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Teaching value of money to kids

I have been thinking about this topic since yesterday's incident with Betu.

When I reached Betu's daycare to pick him up, he was throwing a tantrum to go a fellow daycare friend who lived close by. Since her mom and me are on good terms and since it was weekend I thought we can go. I agreed but told him if he is going to throw such tantrums again, I will not listen to him. He agreed and apologised.

His friend and him both had a blast playing with a huge train set that was gifted to his friend by a relative staying in Tokyo. It was spread on the size of about 6' x 9' so you can imagine how huge it was.

After 30 mins I asked him to go home. Again tantrums started. Once we were seated in the car, and were on the way I told him I am not going to talk to him till he behaves. He kept at it and saying "Aap gande ho. Mujhe aapse baat nahi karni" and I replied to him "fine!". After 5 mins he was again apologetic saying sorry and "main aapka chhonu hoon. Aap mujhse please baat karo na". I told him we will talk when we are at home. He kept sobbing as if hurt and muttering that I am not going to talk to him or love him now.

So I gave him a hug when we stopped at a traffic light and asked him why does he do that when he knows its not good. This was again answered with usual well rehearsed dialogue "sorry! Main dubara nahi karunga" after less than a minute.

A while later he asks me to get him a similar train as Prithvi, his friend, has. I said fine but only if he behaves. He said yes he will and asked me if we will go market now. When I said no we will go when Papa is back tomorrow, he would not hear anything about it. So I told him I don't have money. The moment I said that I realised that was a wrong choice of words. I should have said something else. But when he asked me that let's go and take money from Prithvi I was taken aback and got a little upset. I know I should'nt have. So in anger I asked him if he wants to be like those beggar children that he sees on the roads. Again I felt wrong choice of words and it kept gnawing me at the back of the mind. I tried to explain him that we both work to get money to buy clothes and toys for him as well as food. So he should never ask anybody for money. Then I again told him that we will go when his Papa is back. He went quiet. All settled I thought.

On way to home, I stopped at the local grocer to get milk. To my utter shock he asks me that just now you told me you don't have money then how are you going to buy milk? I told him I have just little money to buy milk and other stuff. Can you even think of what he would have said then? I am sure NOT! I was at such a loss of words when he said "mujhe aapka wallet dikhayo. Main dekhna chahta hoon ki aapke paas kitne paise hain".

I just said no to him but couldn't think of an explanation as to why I am not allowing it.

Edited to add: I forgot to add that once during all this conversation he mentioned to me "Jo paise Nanu mujhe dete hain woh aapke paas hai na. Unse khareed lo". And its true. Betu's Nany give him money everytime we go and meet him. And Anirudh gives them to me to keep in my purse. Can you imagine all this coming out of the mouth of a 4 year old??

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A sinful breakfast!

A thick spread of blackcurrant jam, with real blackcurrant in it, on a slice of bread tastes yummy! Its just heavenly! Yet sinful!


Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I wanna be a bear!

Got this in a email forward and just LOVVVED it! Read on..especially you women are gonna love it too!!

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you are supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you are a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a momma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat!

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Hindi converter tool! Simply Awesome!

Found this website which converts whatever you write in English into Hindi. And its just so awesome!

You guys must try it!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I've lost it!!??

I was just now speaking to a vendor and giving him a dose on them being irresponsible in the communication part. They never call up to give a status and when I call up 95% of the times they do not pick the phone. So during this blasting from me I wanted to tell them that "I'm lost" how to improve this communication and what did I end up saying?? "I've lost it!!" And not once but twice!!

Jeez...I am so embarrassed as everyone sitting around me must have heard me saying that and they must be laughing their heads off and saying "Yes! She has really lost it!!"

Torch Relay for Beijing 2008 Olympics in New Delhi

I have been wanting to see the torch relay run for Beijing 2008 Olympics this year and ever since I saw my cousin's pictures when he saw it in London few days ago, the urge is getting even more stronger.

And the worst part? There is no where I can get information about the route its going to go when in New Delhi on April 17, 2008. There is no information how can general public see it, even if by standing by the sides of the road on which the 'chosen-ones' will run holding it.

Anyone, anywhere, please let me know if you have any clue about it.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Man, who was a woman, gets pregnant!

Just read this article which says a man, who went through a sex change operation is now pregnant!! When I read this I first thought it was a fake news just like the male pregnancy website. But then if Times Online is carrying the news I wonder.

Either read it at its source URL or read it below where I've copied and pasted the article here.

Thomas Beatie, a married man who used to be a woman, is pregnant with a baby girl

A married man who used to be a woman says that he is pregnant and will give birth to a baby girl in July.

“How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible,” wrote Thomas Beatie, 34, from the Pacific North West of the United States, in the latest issue of the gay magazine The Advocate.

“Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am.”

Mr Beatie was born female, named Tracy Lagondino, but had gender reassignment surgery and is now legally male and married to a woman.

He decided to carry a baby for his wife, Nancy, because she had a hysterectomy years ago. He was able to get pregnant because he kept his female organs when he switched genders.

“Sterilisation is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights,” he writes. “Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire.” The couple, who have been together for ten years, run a custom screenprinting business in Bend, Oregon, where neighbours do not know that Mr Beatie was once a woman.

“Our desire to work hard, buy our first home and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child,” he wrote.

Before becoming pregnant, Mr Beatie stopped the testosterone injections he was receiving as part of his gender reassignment. “It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months and I didn’t have to take any exogenous oestrogen, progesterone or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy,” he wrote.

The couple bought donor vials from a cryogenic sperm bank and, facing resistance and prejudice from doctors, resorted to home insemination. “Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Healthcare professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognise Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender,” he said.

Mr Beatie’s first successful insemination ended in a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy with triplets that required surgery, resulting in the loss of all his embryos and his right Fallopian tube. “When my brother found out about my loss, he said, ‘It’s a good thing that happened. Who knows what kind of monster it would have been?’,” he wrote.

The second pregnancy resulted in a baby girl who is due to be born on July 3. “I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family,” he wrote.

Mr Beatie would not be the first transgender man to give birth, according to Lisa Masterson, an obstetrician at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre in Los Angeles.

“A transgender man can be pregnant because he has the same organs as a woman,” Dr Masterson said on the ABC Good Morning America show.

Dr Masterson said, however, that transgendered men face special health risks resulting from their sex change. “It’s really important that he doesn’t take any testosterone early on in the pregnancy and later on,” she said. “That can cause male-type characteristics in the female baby.”

Some of the Beaties’ neighbours in Bend voiced scepticism about the pregnancy claim. One resident, Josh Love, told ABC: “I couldn’t say that he looks pregnant. I can stick my stomach out and almost make it look like that. I think it’s kind of bizarre. I don’t know if I believe it or not.”

The Advocate said it had confirmed the story with Mr Beatie’s doctor.

I have mixed feelings towards this whole thing. I am not sure if I should clap at this miracle of medical science or feel funny about the whole thing. I don't know why but I found the picture of the pregnant male guy little disgusting.

How to enjoy a rainy day?

What better than to make yummy pakoras accompanied with piping hot chai!

And that's how we enjoyed too! :D

It had been raining yesterday here in Delhi and today morning when I woke up lazily at 8 AM the weather was still those rainy kinds, with slight drizzling. The perfect weather for such delicacies!

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch

Friday, April 4, 2008

I got a flat!

Its not the where-you-can-live-in flat but as in a flat tyre. Right in the morning when we were almost all ready to leave the house, hubby told me my car has a flat . And of all the days it had to happen today. When I had made so much effort to get ready earlier than usual as I wanted to reach office early, and I had to get my tank filled up and air checked on the wheels as well, I had to get a flat the very same day!! Darn!!

Anyhow, hubby and myself together worked to change it quickly. and we were done with it in 15 min. And all the time I was thinking of you DotMom! Yes you..coz yesterday I was sympathising with you about you having a flat tyre and today I need those sympathies extended back to me :D

Thankfully its weekend and I don't have to rush to get it the flat one repaired today itself. I can do it tomorrow.

But we did get 5 min late to Betu's school because of all this and the school gates were locked by the time we reached at 8:35 AM. Luckily the guard was around and he opened it up for us along with a strict warning that he won't open it up again if we got late starting from Monday. Yes boss!

~Edited to add: Just spoke with hubby about 30 min ago and what I heard left me dumbstruck for a while. He got a flat tyre too today. He saw it just as he was about to go for a meeting. *rolling my eyes* Some days are just bad....

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I have just returned after meeting him after his school got over. He was smiling and was happy. That makes me VERY happy.

And what a brat he is. He complained to me "Pata nahi saare bachhe kyun rote rahte hain. Main to nahi rota!" (Don't know why the other kids keep crying. I don't cry.) I wanted him to give one swat on his bums and tell him "If you don't cry than what was that you did in the morning. Why did you cry so bad that tore my heart?". But of course I didn't say any of those things to him and just hugged him and gave him kicchis (kisses) on his gallus (cheeks).

Then the van driver, who will be dropping him off to the daycare, took over and made him stand in the queue of the children who go in his van.

Must say it was utter chaos there. Children were running haywire..not really but trying to. And the teachers were trying to hold them. Parents were pushing in to reach their children. Kids started to cry once they saw their parents. It was a total madhouse. For a moment me and hubby were wondering if this is the way, its going to be for the children going back by van pickup, we have to think of some other means of sending him to his daycare after school.

The teachers themselves were going bonkers but were holding on. One of the parents, whose daughter is in the same class and van as Anirudh's told us that its just initial days chaos. She said so from her experience since her older son also studies in the same school and she has seen things smoothen out after 3-4 days.

One of the van driver's was literally pulling the kids that were from his van and I shouted at him not to. And I wonder if they behave like this when parents are not around. Since we were around today, his van driver was being nice and careful. But I will do a surprise check on him. Maybe tomorrow itself.

Anyhow, things have started to look brighter. Rest of the update when I speak with Betu in the evening after I pick him up from his daycare :)

I hate it!

He was getting so scared today looking at the kids shrieking and crying loudly that he started to cry too! He didn't want to be there. And I still left him there. He had tears running down his cheek and he kept saying "Mujhe darr lag raha hai" and I still left him there.

I can't tell you how awful I'm feeling right now. While I was driving back to work, at every junction I felt like turning back and picking him up from there.

I know I should probably be more stronger about this. And I know other kids will cry. I know that they will take few days or more to settle down. I know I will have to give more time to Anirudh too to adjust in a new environment. I know he can. I also know that I just don't like the look of being scared on his face. I just don't!!!

I just know everything and I still cannot get myself to accept it. I god damn HATE IT!!